An Indepth Look Into A Geek's Soul

Welcome back to another Top Ten list my friends.  It's good to keep these things going strong.  Yeah, it's posted a little later than what I would want, but hell, nothing you can do about that.  In fact, you should read this blog right here to see why these are rather difficult to come up with.  And why I might skip a week or four when I do this kind of thing.  But nevertheless, this is going to be all about mythical creatures in one form or another.  Enjoy.  And yeah, the first picture scares me too.

Number Ten: Zombies

Don’t get me wrong, if I saw a zombie, I would want this thing dead.  Again.  But zombies are just so sweet, even if I hatehorror films with all of my heart.  Iblame this one entirely on my zombie deck. It has been my best deck to me for longer than I care to remember.  Yes, it could be better, but that’s foranother Top Ten list folks.  Zombies arecool because of what they represent:  amockery of life.  Everyone at some pointwishes for a loved one to come back, but everyone would destroy that person ifthey came back as a zombie.  Plus,Dungeons and Dragons have come up with some awesome zombies.  I mean heck, ever seen a zombie explode whenyou kill it?  I have.  Well, my character has.

Number Nine: Goblins

How could you not love something as simple yet brilliantas a goblin?  Seriously, not only are these guys iconic beginning monsters for DnD, they are also some of thefunniest creatures you can come across. These guys take on entirely different aspects depending on which culturethey come from or what game you’re playing or which book you happen to pickup.  Which is another good selling pointabout them.  Personally, I like the factthat they are these shifty, sly little thieves, more or less, in DnD.  In Magic, I just love Festering Goblin.  And if any of you readers happen to stumbleinto the Writing Center at NMC, you have to ask Chris to do his impression of agoblin.  I’m pretty sure it’s one of the wonders of the world.

Number Eight: Dwarves

These stout little guys are pretty freaking sweet.  I’ve always had this thing for dwarvencharacters, mostly because everyone else tends to like elves more.  However, dwarves have always been theengineers of the mythical realm, more so than any gnome.  They delve deeper than most of the other humanoids out there, they love precious gems, and can’t wait to get drunk onsome ale.  What more could you reallywant from a mythical being?  What’sthat?  A lot more?  Well, that’s just mean.  I still like your Mr. Dwarf.  Come, lets go play with our mounds of platinum and gold beneath your mountain.

Number Seven: Unicorns

Before you guys give me crap, I’ve always loved unicorns.  I don’t care how gay that makes me.  These things are freaking sweet.  Yeah, they can be all good and kind and caring and all that jazz, but don’t piss them off.  They have a horn for a reason, which is to impale your stupid ass.  I think theunicorn is the reason I rather enjoyed Dungeons and Dragons.  In my first little mini set of adventure thatcame with my first starter set for the game, you fought a bunch of goblins tosave this unicorn.  It was awesome.  Yeah, I think I even had a picture of one at some point.  Won it t a carnival if I remember correctly.

Number Six:  Golems

I think the first memory of a golem comes from Dragon Warrior Monsters.  He’s one of the bosses in an early Traveler’s Gate, and low and behold, that guy was weak against sleep, which worked rather well for me if I do say so myself.  I’m not sure why he was weak to sleep either.  I’m thinking that maybe it has something to do with the origin of golems.  I think they are from Jewish mythology orsomething like that.  Anyways, golemshave evolved a great deal from their 8-bit days and have joined the 21st century doing all kinds of awesome things. I still think my favorite type of golem is the Iron Golem, mostly because he looks like a giant robot that is going to kill you with his sword.  Scary things. This one is purely based on nostalgia. Side note:  Nostalgia?  Really? Who the hell came up with that word? And where can I find you, so I can punch you.

Number Five: Jackalope

Not so much a mythical creature as a creature out of folklore, I love it just for the fact that I have a Magic card called Jackalope Herd.  How sweet is that?  I mean, rabbits with antlers?  That’s all win and no fail.  I would love to actually own one to be completely honest.  I think that I couldhave lots of fun with it.  I’d put it ona leash and walk it everywhere and it would be the closest thing to a pokemo nthat I would ever get to see in real life. Though a real life pokemon would be sweet too… JACKALOPE, GO!  Heh, yeah, that would be sweet.

Number Four: Phoenix

These guys are sweet because they are birds that are onfire.  Fire.  How sweet is that?  Let me tell you, it’s really sweet.  Plus, they are like impossible to really kill.  In fact, I’m not sure how you’resupposed to go about doing such a task. When they die, they tend to blow up in a giant fireball and take theirfoes down with them.  It leads to really stupid encounters in DnD.  It’s a good thing I never let Joel use one against me. It would make me never want to play the game again.  I still love the fact that Dumbeldore had Fawkes as his familiar more or less.  Everyoneelse has a raven, or an owl, or some cat, but he had a phoenix.  That pretty much trumps all.  Take that you stupid talking bird.  Poe should have written about the mighty phoenix instead.

Number Three: Illithids

Also commonly known as Mindflayers, these guys are theonly good thing about psionics.  Pretty much they are purple humanoids with an octopus for a head, they don’t look likemuch until they grab you by those tentacles and suck your brain out.  Yeah, they do that.  In fact, that’s the only thing they eat.  Brains. Think zombies, only smart.  And abit more powerful.  These guys work great as the villain of your campaigns, but really, they work awesome doing justabout anything.  These guys are always hard as hell, and you know you’re going to have a memory (good or bad) when yousee one.  Plus, they look like the bastard child of Cthulhu.  And there is nothing wrong with that at all.

Number Two:  Giants

I love the idea of giants.  The fact that they were simply giant humanoids with some kind of elemental tint to them is a rather awesome idea.  Now, I’m not sure if that’s theone that most people think of, but I always think of fire giants when I hear ofgiants.  Not sure why to tell you thetruth.  I think it’s because you hear alot about them in good old DnD.  Thosekinds are kind of scary, too.  Lots of damage, lots of fire, and an overall lack of niceness.  Also, I don’t view them in any sort of way asthe story “Food of the Gods” by H.G. Wells portrays them.  I rather like the idea that they are more orless an element taken human form.  Dealwith it people.

Number One: Dragons

Dragons are without a doubt the coolest kind of mythicalcreature out there.  There is a sense of wonder and awe that you get when you hear the word dragon.  They are majestic creatures that are at the heart of the best kind of stories.  I mean, there is a reason why it’s called Dungeons and Dragons.  I’m talking about the true blooded European dragons too.  Give me claws and wings and scales and fire breathing.  Get those Chinese lion headed snakes out of here. Yes, if you are looking for a memorable encounter, no matter the timeand place, get yourself a dragon.  In every format they are the king of the crop. Mighty terrors of the sky, yet at the same time great pools of knowledgeand wisdom.  Indeed, these awesomecreatures are the coolest things to come out of someone’s mind.