An Indepth Look Into A Geek's Soul

You know it guys, it's time for the long awaited return of the Top Ten column.  Hopefully it'll be more of a weekly thing again, but only time will tell.  This week we shall be exploring the wonderful world of Middle Earth and my favoriite characters that reside in.  Enjoy.

Number Ten:  Sauron

That’s right, starting off with the evil of all evil. Whyyou ask?  Is it because I’m cold andheartless?  Naw, I just like him becausehe’s the most mysterious of the characters. Sure, you get the backstory of him, up to a point at least.  I want like his whole life story.  Why did he go evil?  What natural gift allowed him to craft theOne Ring?  What does he look like beneaththat sweet suit of armor?  These are allquestions I ask myself when I read about him. Plus, I like how he was mentioned in the Hobbit without you initiallyrealizing it.  He’s the Necromancerthere.  Also, how sweet is that?  Going by a nickname and still being feared byall?  Pure power right there.

Number Nine: Legolas

Yeah, I had to throw Legolas on there.  I know he’s an elf, and on principle Idislike elves, but I had to make an exception for him.  The reason? “Take him down Legolas!”  And thenhe doesn’t.  It could be said thatLegolas is the reason why Helm’s Deep almost fell, because he couldn’t slaythis one guy with a torch, even though he hit him three or four times.  Must suck to be an elf.  The only thing this guy has going for him ishis eyes.  The guy can see far away.  So far that it beats even Gandalf andAragorn.  That’s crazy far.  Another thing about him:  Gimli wins the kill count at the battle ofHelm’s Deep against this guy.  Beats himby one.  That must suck, doesn’t it,Legolas?

Number Eight: Merry

Merry is awesome sauce because I think he, more thananyone else, is the truest member of his race. No other character, not even Sam, truly embodies what it really means tobe a hobbit.  He’s able to sit on thesite of a mighty battle and engage in small talk like nothing had happened.  He has a found love of food (especially baconit seems) and pipeweed, and really, what good hobbit doesn’t?  The adventure changes him, sure, but notnearly as profoundly as it changes everyone else.  I think that in itself is the true way of thehobbit:  simple and unchanging.

Number Seven: Frodo

Yeah, I had to have Frodo on here.  I picked Frodo mostly because I would like tobelieve that if given the same choices as he was forced to make that I couldmake it too.  I guess I just see a bit ofmyself in him.  Not a very cool part,more like a tough part, the part of me that’s all tough as nails.  And he had to be tough as nails too.   He travelled more in his lifetime than Iexpect most people even dream of in theirs. May we all find the will to cast the One Ring away when our time comes.

Number Six:  Sam

Good old Sam.  Whatwould Frodo have done without you man? He wouldn’t have made it.  Sam isawesome in the same way that Neville Longtbottom is awesome:  he’s a great supporting character.  He’s loyal to a fault and will stand up forsomething when it really matters to him. He has some good bits of dialogue, especially when it comes toGollum.  It’s his distrustful ways thatbring out the worst of hobbits.  Italways makes me smile.  But more thananything, I think Sam would make a great friend.  He just seems like the kind of guy you couldknock a few beers back with and drink the night away without worrying about theconsequences.

Number Five:  TomBombadil

Oh Tom.  How sad itis that you were left out of the movies. I realize that you would never have fit in:  you are far too carefree and singsongy forthe majority of mainstream American cinema goers, but I would have liked to haveseen it nonetheless.  Your attitudetowards life is something to be admired and the fact that you can hold the OneRing and not be affected by it makes you might indeed.  I do think it’s rather cool how you had thosepoems made specifically for you.  Andyes, I did just look that up on Wikipedia. Sorry guy.  But hey, keep up thegood work, alright?  It’s not easy beingthe oldest being in Middle Earth, even if Treebeard claims to be older thanyou.

Number Four: Aragorn

Ah yes, Aragorn, son of Arathorn, wielding of the Bladethat was Broken but has been Reforged. Good guy.  If there was a regular,nonmagic wielding guy of Middle Earth that performs magical feats, it would begood old Strider.  He has this ability torally people without even trying.   Plus,he has a wicked blade.  I think the thingthat makes me like him more than anything are his skills though.  He is the very definition of a ranger.  Why, his skills are so impressive that eventhe elves are awed by it.  That commands someserious respect.

Number Three: Gandalf

How could any list be complete without Gandalf?  It wouldn’t be I tell you.  Gandalf is cool because of his extreme polaropposites.  For instance, he’s all happygo lucky Gandalf when he’s in the Shire. Take him over to Rohan though, and the guy is all business and verylittle play.  I guess being one of themost powerful beings on Middle Earth does that to you.  I do wish that he could have done some actualflashy spells in the movies, but hey, you can only do so much.  I suppose Gandalf holds all of his flash inthe form of nifty fireworks to impress the little folk.  Oh Gandalf, what would Middle Earth bewithout you?

Number Two:  Gimli

The dwarves of Middle Earth often get looked over in allthe fawning over the elves.  Well let meset it straight:  dwarves freakingrock.  Especially Gimli, son ofGloin.  Yeah, he is the butt of a lot ofjokes in the movies, but in the book, he is more likely to make the jokes.  Especially when Merry and Pippin wereinvolved.  He is a simple man who enjoyedsmoking his pipe and eating a good hardy meal. The biggest thing I would like to have with Gimli is a named ax.  Like, Aragorn has a named sword, so why can’tGimli get a sweet little weapon like that? Mostly, when I think of Gimli, I think of a person who enjoys the finerpoints of battle (especially when those nasty orcs are involved) and of hisdislike of horses.  He really hated thosethings.

Number One: Treebeard

This may come to a shocker to most people readingthis.  When people think of iconic Lordof the Rings characters, I don’t think that Treebeard comes up very often.  But for the life of me I can’t figure outwhy.  This guy exudes awesomeness.  First off, he’s as old as the forestitself.  That gives him tons ofexperience and wisdom.  Plus, he’s a hellof a fighter.  The thing I think I likemost about him though is his sense of humor. The movies do not do him justice at all. He makes all these sidecomments that just make me smile.  Ithink if I could be friends with anyone from the entire Tolkien universe,Treebeard would be my number one choice. 

Peace Out.