An Indepth Look Into A Geek's Soul

You know, school really puts me in an awkward position.  On one hand, I really like.  On the other, it's utterly stupid and pointless.  I know what you are thinking.  "But Jon, you haven't even started school yet, why are you complaining about it so early this year?"  I'm not trying to complain it about guys.  Really.  The only thing I really want to complain about is money and paying for school and all of that fun jazz.  I just feel that there is too much needed to get aid for paying for school and books and the like.  Honestly, I have to fill out the FASFA, which not only requires my social security number, tax forms, W-2's, and a load of other things, but also my mom's information as well.  Yet, even though this is more than enough to get money from the government, it's not enough to get money from NMC.  Awesome.  I have to give them copies of the exact same things.  Really?  Just because you are the small guys you have to give us hell so you can stick it to the federal government?  Honestly?

It's not toing to be all bad.  I mean yeah, some classes are sure to suck, but I have a feeling that most of my classes will be on the more enjoyable side.  Plus, with me being on campus more, I get to work less at the hellhole of a job that has become Best Buy.  Yeah, that means less money, but at the same time it also means that I get to spend more time hanging out at the writing center with Megan.  She's been awesome in helping me stay calm during all of this hassle of a new school year.  I don't know what I would do without here.

Peace Out.

I'm so fed up with where I am at with my job.  It all just seems like mindless automations where I just cannot ever do well enough for those that are above me.  I may get a small comment when I do a good job, but if I mess oh is there hell to pay.  Of course there is.  They never look at the good, only the bad.  They don't notice when I'm doing everything in my power to make a sale a successful one.  No one cares when I land a cheap computer sale with every attachment that the guys can put in a cart.  Instead, they notice when I'm not using my folder, when I'm not pounching on a customer if they are within ten feet of me, when I stop to talk to an employee for five seconds.  It is pointless and rather irritating.

What is really happening is that they are slowly devouring what little is left of my patience and values.  I feel like that I value what the customer wants and needs better than anyone else.  I'm the first to give them space if they need it or give them that extra push if they want something and just can't make up their minds.  I actually follow that TRUST training that the managers are always pushing on us, yet will so rarely follow.  No, instead they push push push a customer into something, hammering whatever drivel we are supposed to selling in force that day.  That's not what TRUST is all about people.  Not at all.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I'll be so damn happy when I'm out of there.  I'll be happy when I have a regular schedule and can actually get scheduled for mornings, when I'm doing something that is actually helpful to people, and when I can actually be happy and proud to go to work.  Hopefully it'll be sooner than later, but knowing my luck, it won't be. 

Sorry for the rantfest.

Peace Out.

So yeah, if you guys don't want to hear me be mean to myself, leave now.

Being all caught up in this whole "Year of the Jon" thing has just gotten me into one giant clusterfuck.  Me and my cocky attitude has blown right back in my face.  I should have known that it was going to.  It's not who I am.  I'm some stupid little guy pretending to be something he's not.  I'm not some cool, suave, sophisticated stud.  I'm just some loser of a geek who sits at home all day thinking of new DnD characters or how to put together a new Magic deck.  No wonder I can't get a damn girlfriend.  What kind of normal person would want me?  No one, that's who.  I'm just going to die alone, but fuck, what else is new?

Hell, I can't even win a damn match of bowling anymore.  I've won what?  Maybe 5 out of the last 25 games that I've played?  Pathetic.  What happened to the days when I could beat Collin with both my hands tied behind my back?  It's like he gets better every week and I just stay in this same old suckfest that I've been in since I left Maryland.  I was terrible back then, and I'm terrible now.

And yeah, to Carlee, I fucked up.  I highly doubt you are reading this, but I'm really sorry for everything that happened today.  I wish I could take it back.  What I said was really stupid, and I'm sorry if Carlo is giving you a hard time.  I'll just try to stay out of both of your guys's ways.  I'll just hunker down in my corner and let you guys pass by me.  Sorry for being an amoral jerk.

Peace Out.

So I was browsing Wikipedia the other day in class instead of working on my paper and I stumbled across this awesome little article here.  It's about the Fermi paradox, which is basically asking the question about why human beings haven't discovered any form or intelligent life but ourrselves in the universe.  Now, being the imaginative guy that I am, I was trying to think of all kinds of reasons of why this might be.  Everything that I could think of was touched on in the article, but I'd almost like the real reason to be that we are the first intelligent species in the entire universe.  Out of all of the possible options out there, I think that one has the strongest pull on me.

Think about it, really think about it.  What if we are the original race?  I mean, most mythologies, both real and imagned, had a race of beings that created or gradually become every other intelligent race in the universe.  What if we are that race?  Think of the incredible power and responsibilty that title would bring.  Everything that we do could potentially be discovered and studied by species to come long after us.  Think of what they could glean from out lives, from out advancements, from our failures.  I think that if we knew that we were the first intelligent beings in the universe, everything would change about how we live.

Imagine it, really try your best to image what a universe full of nothing but humans would be like.  I like to believe it's different from Battlestar Galactica, but hey, maybe it's how some of you see it.  Humans could literally colonize every single planet in the entire universe if we really wanted to.  We may create new life forms, to test and expirment with evolution, much as you can do with Spore.  By the time any new intelligent race emerged, humans as we are now would be totally different.  We could have take on some new form, maybe one that doesn't rely on the physical form at all but merely on some mental form.  Maybe we won't be here at all, having passed away from the universe due to some unforeseen consequence of our own expirmenting.

If we really at the first being to be intelligent in all the universe, I think it would be rather unnerving.  Right now on our own planet, we have a hard enough time just coping with one another.  How are we to cope with a solar system or a galaxy or a universe of ourselves?  We would have to work out a lot of major problems with ourselves before we could do anything great on that galactic scale. 

Still, it's a lot to think about.  I think I'm going to go develop this idea a bit more, then commit it to writing in one of my many journals and books laying around.

Peace Out.

That's right my faithful readers, it's the return of the Top Ten list.  Only this time, it's really a Bottom Ten list.  And who better to trash and thrash on than the ever not talented Kanye West.  He's a douche, and as thus, he will be taken down by those lone, bitter blogger.

Number Ten:  Kanye West is a gay fish.

I'm sure everyone who has watched South Park has seen this episode.  Now, does this episode make Kanye a terrible person?  Yes, but only because I'm sure he really didn't get the joke. Kanye West just loves fish sticks.  That's all there is to it. 

Number Nine:  Kanye West interrupts Taylor Swift

The douche baggery heard 'round the world.  Yeah, I said that.  And you know it's true.  I mean seriously, why would you do something like that?  Interrupting a poor girl accepting an award just to cut her down? Really?  Really, this is the occurance that made me want to right this, and really, while it wasn't a huge thing compared to others that he's done, it's the first thing that I really think brought his douchebaggery to the attention of all Americans.

Number Eight:  Those Damn Shades of His

What the hell are up with them?  Those glasses he enjoys wearing with those stupid bars across them.  First off, they don't even look cool.  Secondly, how the hell can you see with those things on?  I mean, come on man.  It looks stupid as hell, and makes you look like a piece of trash.

Number Seven:  His crazy hair cuts.

Go look up some of his haircuts.  Do it.  I'll wait.

Exactly.

Number Six:  George Bust hates black people.

Yeah, lets all help the victims of Katrina.  Get on a national televised session to raise some money for all the victims of one of the worst natural disasters our  nation has ever known.  What should you say?  "George Bust hates black people." Way to go Kanye.  Way to go.

Number Five:  A Late Concert

This is one of those things that ticked me off, but I think most people just kind of brushed it off.  There was this concert you see, at some music festival that the industry likes running.  Kanye was scheduled to do some five hour long set.  Only he showed up like 3 hours late.  Then ended early becasue the light wasn't right.  Really?  Are you that full of yourself that you deny your fans the right to see your wonderful gloriouship?  Whatever dude.

Number Four:  The women he hangs out with.

Honestly, the man is worth millions somehow, and he still can't get a girl with a full head of hair to hang with him?  Damn, that's gotta hurt.

Number Three:  His music isn't any good.

Have you heard his stuff lately?  It really isn't any good.  Honestly, it's not.  It's all stuff he does with other people.  When was the last song you heard by him that wasn't some group affair?  Exactly.

Number Two:  He's the voice of a generation.

He's not.  Trust me.  Cause that would be generation suck, and really, I haven't heard of that generation.

NUMBER ONE:  TYPING IN ALL CAPS

HONESTLY, DO YOU NEED TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS?  DO YOU SEE WHAT THIS LOOKS LIKE WHEN IT'S READ ON THE INTERNET?  IT'S LIKE KANYE JUST WANTS TO MAKE SURE HE TAKES UP AS MUCH SPACE AS IS POSSIBLE.  HERE'S A LITTLE HOMEWORK FOR THE LOT OF YOU:  TAKE MY LITTLE RANT HERE AND RETYPE IN ALL CAPS AND REREAD IT.  NOW TELL ME THIS, DOESN'T IT SEEM JUST A BIT MORE ASSHOLE-ISH.  YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.  CRAZY.

Yeah, it's quicky, it's dirty, and it's pictureless, but you guys can deal with it, I have homework to do.

Peace Out.

Yep, that's right, we are doing a rant tonight peope.  Not a very strong one, or a very mean one, or a very long one.  It's going to be about Best Buy too.  Why?  Because hey, you have to rant about your job from time to time.  And now is my time.

Now really, here's what is bothering me about Best Buy right now.  It's the way we do business.  Both as a whole company, and all the way down to an individual level as well.  I think we are just way to pushy.  We contact the customer, they say they don't want to be helped right now, they are just looking, and the supervisors just want us to keep pushing for the sale.  It's stupid.  Personally, I hate that way of selling.  I don't think that it builds customer relationships at all.  I've had plenty of people just walk away because it's just too much at one time.

On a more personal level, I think we are just way to lax on everything else.  I know that's probably just me, but it bothers me.  It's more about sellng something to people than actually helping them.  Like shutting down everything even though there are still people our section and there's still ten minutes of shopping time left.  Yeah I realize you want to get done and out as soon as possible, but Mark takes forever to approve us to go anyways, so there was no reason to start shutting everything down that early.  And I did pretty much all the closing details, you didn't realy do a single thing tonight Brady.  But whatever.

Peace Out.

So, I've randomly seen into various people's habitats lately, and what I've seen is rather not what I expected.  People seem to live rather clean lives.  Now, from some people, I totally understand that.  I mean, I just randomly saw into Sam's living area because I happened to click on some link she posted on her facebook.  It was a weird site by the way, some techno thing where people chatted and listened to some guy do his DJ thing and they also had some webcams up and what not.  Yeah, not for me, that's for sure.  Still, it took me like time to realize that Sam was one of the girls with the webcam up.  First it shocked me, then I was like, her little corner of the world looks awesome.  And a bit neater than I would have expected, knowning what few things I know of her.

Probably the bigger shocker I got yesterday though, when I went to Free Comic Day at Top of the Ninth with Chris.  You see, we stopped by his apartment first, to pick up his little brother.  I was expecting to find something along the lines of a decent bit of clutter, seeing as how he never seemed to be one to be all the clean.  I was totally shocked to find that his apartment was damn near spotless.  Even his room was clean.  I just didn't expect that of him at all.  He's not exactly a slob, he just comes off as not caring about picking up, like it's not the first thing on his do to list.  Plus, his car was kinda messy, not filthy, just sorta messy, like most cars.  And I assumed that his house was going to be like that.

I guess what I'm saying is that from what little I've seen of these people's room, I've gotten such a grasp of their personality.  Chris has these comics, nice, old ones, I think like the first issues of various series, framed and hanging on his wall.  Sam had some random ass poster of what I think was a band on the part of the wall I can see.  And both were totally a lot cleaner than I expected.

It just makes me think about my place, you know?  Well, my room at my grandpa's at least.  It's not very clean, though I have been picking up lately.  What does that mean exactly?  That I'm a slob?  That I don't care about myself?  That I see myself as a piece of trash?  Is my room really all that personal at all?  In a way, I suppose it's personal in that cheesy, high school way.  I have lots of posters up, almost all of them being rooted in the the realm of fantasy.  My legos are at the front of the room.  My desk faces a window.  A geek who wants to get outside?  Is that what my room says about me?  Hell if I know.  I just know I need to clean up some more.

And here you thought this was going to super emo.  Nope, it's only mildly so.

Peace Out.

Best Buy has been getting me rather angry lately.  It's rather hellah annoying.  I'm getting absolutely no hours lately.  This week I'm getting a 8.5 hours, and next week I get a whole 5.5 hours.  That's one day I work next week.  One damn day.  It's all like, oh hey, we don't want to fire you, we're just hoping that you'll quit.  I mean damn, what kind of workplace does that to you?  Sometimes it just pisses me off so much.

Another stupid thing about it is how we don't work on commission.  Only, we sort of do.  You see, we get our hours based on how much we sell, but yet we don't work on commission.  So, as my coworker Josh puts it. "We aren't on commission, but we should sell like we are."  It's so true.  Ugh.  I want a new job.  A lot.  Whatever.  I'm going to shut up now.  Sorry it's so short.

Peace Out.